The Singletons

Bridget Jones dubbed a new category of women a few years ago in her much loved novel and the subsequent movie version ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary’.  I just love the definition:

Singleton – 1. A single woman in her early 30s who at times is either an empowered, confident, content, feminist professional; or, 2. an insecure, self-image-loathing, job-hating, fool-acting (where men are concerned) whiner who will “end up all alone, half-eaten by an Alsatian.”

And of course the Smug Marrieds – Former Singletons whose first question to current Singletons is “Why aren’t you married yet?”; also referred to as “smug, prematurely aging, narrow-minded morons” by ranting feminist friend of Bridget’s.

But what happens when the early 30s woman moves into her late 30s (or to her 40s…’what is wrong with her?’).  These are women who now have established careers and are starting to seriously think about their ticking body clocks and whether they will ever find that illusive man.  A friend in her late 30s recently told me that she is thinking of doing the single mother ‘thing’ by choice if she has not met anyone by the end of this year.

And then there is the other category.  The former Smug Marrieds…  The ones who are divorced and looking around for a second time.  I have loads of friends in this category.  I don’t know what you call them (some can probably be called cougars!), but most of my friends are in their 40s, have mostly successful (and hugely demanding) careers, children that they are bringing up predominantly by themselves, who would love to find a like minded man that can handle an independent woman.

Cause let’s be honest.  A lot of men out there still have issues with women earning more than them and being more successful than them.  They still hang on to the age old dream of being the Boss in the house (or being lead to believe they are the Boss in the house – with their wife’s permission).

Anyway, I fall squarely into this category (the former Smug Married AND the Boss in the House…).  So where to find someone in a city like Joburg??

The workplace is not an option. Full stop.  I can’t even start imagining trying to pretend to be this high powered woman once the man has seen me in my birthday suit!

Of course a popular option is dating websites.  But dating websites come with huge warning signs.  Lots of married men looking for a little excitement on the sideline, or single men looking to see how many women they can wow with their eloquent and witty sayings.  I know, I had my fingers burnt and now I am ‘once bitten, thrice shy’….

The pub thing is not quite my scene.  For starters, I am (calculated after several glasses of wine last weekend…) just over 5 feet tall or rather ‘short’.  In metric terms, that is 1.53 meters.  Or simply put, damn short.  Which puts me at a huge disadvantage in pubs.  If I don’t wear high heals and end up hopping from one foot to the other like a penguin after a couple of hours, then I end up staring into mens’ chest all night.  Of course I can climb onto a bar chair (emphasis on climbing, not gently sitting down), but then I am stuck there.  Not so easy to gently ease yourself out of an unwanted conversation when you are stuck to a (or on a) bar stool…

And then of course there are the dating agencies.  You see the billboards everywhere.  But somehow I am not sure if I want to sign up and pay R3 500 a year for just some dates…it seriously feels a bit like a watered down version of the Russian Bride… Maybe I am wrong, but I somehow expect only men desperate-to-get-married-soon to join a dating agency.  Maybe someone who is looking for a mother for his children….and I have my own, thank you very much!

So, a friend stumbled across a singles wine club.  Now there’s a combination for you.  Food and wine, two of my favourite things in the world!  And with the added benefit of possibly finding an intelligent man who loves music and reading and has an established career.  Okay, so I won’t get ahead of myself.  At worst, I thought, it will end up being an evening out with some girlfriends over good wine and food…not too bad for a ‘worst option’?

Off we go to a restaurant in Montecasino for dinner and a wine tasting.  And?  The wine was good (Villieria wines), the bubbly was great and the pasta was yummy.  The three single men who joined in and the one married man who organised the do, were sitting at the other end of the table, a ratio of like 30:3…. I did, however, meet a lady who is a fussier eater than my ex-husband (very surprisingly!).  And we had some good laughs.

Maybe I will have better luck striking up conversations in the Woolies queue next time!  No more online shopping for me!

 

The thief in my house

Okay, I know it is not a blue moon yet, but this is an emergency. I received a phone call from my eldest, Bianca, just after 5pm today, as I was leaving the office. Firstly, to remind me to draw cash, as she owes a friend’s mom (check, I did that this morning on the way to work). Secondly, to remind me to get dinner (like I need a reminder there…it has been hours since lunch). And thirdly to tell me that the dog food is finished. Now, she must have anticipated the outburst, as she immediately stopped me with “Wait mom” and told me that yesterday there was still quarter of a pack of dog food left and today it is finished. Unbelievable as it may seem. So…I have a dog food thief in my house. I am gonna have to check the one who doesn’t finish their vegetables tonight!

Honestly, I give up. I managed to finally get the girls on a weekly rotation plan to feed the dogs, but we constantly run out of food, because they cannot anticipate that the food is not going to last another week (or even another 2 days???). And so it goes with everything. The milk always runs out, the sugar, the margarine, you name it. And I have tried everything. Lists, asking, phoning home on my way to shops, everything other than checking myself all the time.

And I have limited time to shop. Weekends are extremely busy but always include a couple of trips to my old friend, Woolies. In the evenings, I can pop around the Woolies food market just off Linksfield off ramp on the way home (I have a 43km commute home). But a wayward trip to the local pet food shop (the dogs don’t eat supermarket food…far too fussy), a trip to PNP or the local stationer has to be planned in advance. Like days in advance.

What about online shopping, you ask? So, that’s exactly what I thought a couple of weeks ago. PNP online shopping. I have now moved to a new house and it appears that I can get delivery slots that I don’t need to book a week in advance. So, I made my list, logged in (after I had to do the whole password reminder thing), and set off shopping at my desk, in between checking the budget workings. After adding about 5 items (time consuming because I have to search for specific brands that I normally buy), I realise that there are only 2 items in my basket. Repeat. And then I realise the specific items I am looking for are out of stock. Like Twinsaver luxury tissues. Out of stock?? But I persevered and low and behold, after about 3 hours (I was working as well, sort of), I finally had a paid for shopping basket. I had to race against the clock at the end….after 3 hours the delivery slot expires. And delivery the next day. Woohoo!

Until I arrive home the next day to find the delivery slip. Only half the stuff was delivered. “Sorry, we are out of stock”. You gotta be kidding me??? That’s me for grocery home shopping for a while. Instead I will dutifully make a list and thank my lucky stars that the PNP hypermarket only closes at 7pm even if there are only 5 tills open after 5pm.

Now let me go do my motherly duties…a letter from school today, and I have to check for lice. And watch out for the dog food thief. Oh wait, I can relax, there is no dog food!!

 

Hello world!

Okay, so I have decided to join the world of social blogging.  I am not sure if anyone will read my blogs (or even if I will blog more than once in a blue moon), but I have taken the first step and created a blogspot :-).  So today is the first blue moon!!

A little bit about me for those of you who don’t know me…and for those who think they do….

Actually you DO know me! If you ever attended a maths class in high school you will remember me as the girl sitting in the second row in class with the glasses who always did all her maths homework and got steady As for all tests and exams.  Every school has one.  (In fact I can see a few ex-classmates who befriended me on facebook having an aha moment).  For those who never attended maths “Hi, I am Gerda. Just call me Gertie”.

Anyway, after school I studied to become a Chartered Accountant and joined an audit firm and today I have a highly responsible position in a listed entity (la-di-da, I know).  But (like they say in the Verimark adds), that’s not all….

In my real life, I am also a single mom with two daughters, a teenager and a pre-teen.  And I am a juggler.  I have the act of balancing several balls in the air, at the same time, down to a tee…(or so I like to tell myself as I am constantly running between meetings, kids and social obligations like a modern day Speedy Gonzales).

So, the question is why a blog (and when???).

1. I am a babbling brook (courtesy of The Five Languages of Love) and I have to tell people about my life.  And somehow my friends get tired of my minute-by-minute updates
2. For a person of an above-average intellectual ability (independently verified), I can do really stupid things
3. I like to think I am not a typical accountant.  I need an outlet for my creative side (and creative accounting is such a no-no nowadays!).  And I can’t paint or sew to save my life.  And cooking has some fattening side effects…
4. As to the ‘when’, you will just have to wait for the blue moons (or blue Mondays)

So here goes!

To happy blogging! (would have liked to have had a toast to that, but it is Monday morning)